Wow. Another week!? Weird. The days last forever, but the weeks fly by. This week has been quite the roller coaster. Quite honestly, it started out pretty rough... but it has ended with me feeling such an immense feeling of gratitude for our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Last Sunday, I was called to be the Sister Training Leader. They are responsible to watch out for and help the sisters in their zone. I feel so inadequate for the calling, seeing as I feel weak myself; however, I know that "whom the Lord calls, He qualifies." It truly has been a humbling experience. I only hope I can help the sisters the way my old Sister Training Leaders helped me during my hard times.
Anyway, so at the beginning of this week, I found myself being frustrated with myself. I couldn't understand why I couldn't just get the hang of the language; I couldn't understand why I couldn't help my investigators feel the love I have for my Savior; I couldn't understand why I couldn't understand even what my investigators were saying to me sa Tagalog. I ended up breaking down to one of my teachers, and she really helped me take a step back and realize I can't fly before learning to crawl first. I am just used to things catching on for me. I truly have been humbled. On Thursday, I decided that I was in need of some answers from my Heavenly Father. During personal study, I prayed to understand what I needed to do to be blessed with the gifts of the Spirit I so desperately need. After I closed my prayer, I felt I should study the Christlike attribute of Diligence in Preach my Gospel. I read through the paragraph and then studied and pondered the verses concerning Diligence. I read D&C 75: 2-5, D&C 123:12-14, D&C 127:4, and D&C 130:20-21. I felt the Spirit so strong. I was impressed with this thought- "If you want the full blessing of the Gift of Tongues, then you must be diligent and 'waste and wear out your life' in the cause of the Lord" I know this was our Heavenly Father answering my prayer through the power of the Holy Ghost. These verses then led me to D&C 82:10 "I, the Lord am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise." I was so overcome as I remembered what my sweet Poppee (dad) always tells me. He tells me, Kristee (sister wright), BIND THE LORD. The Lord so tenderly wants to bless us, but we must do our part. If we do our part, He cannot help but pour out blessings upon our heads.
I reflected how I could be more diligent. I remember my dad telling me how important it is to be obedient to the mission rules. Now, don't think I'm completely disobedient, but I can improve. It is hard to stay on task when your district chooses to just laugh and tell stories during personal study time and language study. Anyway, with my study, I realized that if I want to receive all the blessings that the Lord has in store for me, then I need to be 100% diligent and obedient. After this, I decided to put it to the test. I tried SO hard to "waste and wear out my life" in the cause of the Lord. Though I would have a headache and though I was exhausted, I pressed forward and tried my very very best-holding nothing back. I stand as a witness that the Lord will bless us when we do what He has asked of us. As I did this, I witnessed a miracle.
Friday was EXHAUSTING yet so rewarding! I had an investigator who we taught at the beginning of this week, and quite frankly it went terrible. She is 16 yrs old and was just looking around the room and yawning. I couldn't feel the Spirit. So then our next time teaching her was Friday night. I prayed so fervently and worked so hard to be guided by the Spirit and be able to know the Tagalog I would need to know for her. This is where I witnessed a miracle. so we went in to teach her, it started out a little rocky. she seemed a little more receptive though. We shared the message we had prepared, and then I decided to ask her if she had any questions. she didn't really answer. then a little later, I felt prompted to ask her again. (now you have to realize the faith it takes to ask if they have questions, because with our broken tagalog.... some times we don't even understand their questions let alone know enough tagalog to answer their questions!) but again, I asked her, "Mayroon po ba kayong mga tanong??" She then opened up and said that she didn't understand the whole deal about the Holy Ghost. At first, I felt a little jolt of nerves because I thought (oh great, way to ask if she has questions and then not be able to answer sa Tagalog...way to go, sister Wright). but I just paused and listened- I plead for guidance by the Spirit. then I had the thought to turn to Moroni 10:3-5. I had her read it (because I stink at reading in Tagalog, haha). when she finished, she just stared at me. Then I thought again (Great sister Wright, way to have her read a scripture that you don't know how to explain sa Tagalog!). But, I put to test the scripture that says "Open your mouth, and it shall be filled." so I did just that. I opened my mouth and Tagalog came out! Really. I don't even remember all of what I said, except that I know I explained how the Spirit works and I bore testimony about my experience with the Spirit-that as I have read and prayed about the Book of Mormon, I felt it was true through the Spirit. As Tagalog rolled off my tongue, my eyes filled with tears. What an amazing experience it was to be able to look into the eyes of this individual and share such a crucial message of truth.
Friends and Family, I KNOW this is the true church. I know it without a doubt. I know the ang kaloob ng mga wika (gift of tongues) is real. I know that we are blessed when we do all that we can to be obedient. I know it, because I have witnessed it this weekend. It was such a beautiful experience. I tangibly felt blessings being poured into my heart as a result of me putting to test the christlike attribute of faith, diligence, and obedience. wow. I have drawn so much closer to my Savior. I have reached my hand out and plead, "Lord, save me." I know He is there. God Lives!
Mahal kita!
Love,
Sister Wright
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